Becoming a "Target"

So here I am in Target again. I was only here yesterday, what was it? Oh yeah, the pharmacy. You notice those people in red shirts staring at you, wondering to themselves..."Didn't I see you yesterday?" Now depending on what your wearing, you either get the "Can I help you find something" or the "Undercover" security following you. You know... the random guy with 2 items in his basket slightly follwoing you down the isle. You know he's security because no guy in his right mind would follow any lady down the Tampax & Poise Pad isle and pretend to choose one and not even pick up a box! let's see, Back to the pharmacy to get an inhailer, down the grocery isle to get milk, (guy is still there following me) Maybe it's because I'm just getting over a cold, I'm wearing sweats and my "Mommy ponytail" and I look awful. Ok had to back track to another isle, I forgot something. This of course is making it very hard for the security guy to follow me, I think he's new - funny! Eventually I round the bend to get kleenex, ah he's gone...

Bam! Our carts collide.

Nope he's back-I've managed to crash into his cart which is still holding the 2 random items.

"Sorry! I didn't realize you were still following me"

Security: " uh uh.. ( I think I stunned him lol)Are you finding everything alright?

Me: (He forgot he was supposed to be undercover security)
Yeah..why? Do you work here? ( I ask, like I didn't know already)

Security: "Yes?" (Still looking bewildered)

Me: In that case, yes. Except your kind of creeping me out following me.

Security: "You shop here alot?" (looking at me oddly, I know what he's trying to do)

Me: Yup! That's what happen's when Target sells just about everything! One day medicine, one day photos, one day milk you know?

Security: (looking rather flushed) "Sorry to bother you mame"

Today I went to Target and became...a Target!

Sometimes...you know...

Ok mom's with kids...you ever feel like this?

Moon Sand ...really?

Who ever thought of Moon Sand should be fired. Have you ever tried to play with it. The commercial makes it look so cool, pack it in special molds (not included) convienient fold up play container.

Let's face reality...it 'aint going to stay contained! Oh and the claims that it's better than real sand because it sticks together...

Yeah it sticks together - if you apply brute force of an adult it might stick together! Otherwise it just clumps and breaks off all over the table, floor and in each others hair. Oh almost forgot the best part! My daughter now had yellow and purple stained hands- so does my couch where she wiped her hands off before I could grab her. Let's just say what it really is... "poor man's play-doh!" I'll take real Play-doh anyday! Come on Moon Sand...really? Should've been left on the moon!

PS It was a gift (I wouldn't buy it), and this is what I came home to after picking up perscriptions from the store thanks to my 12yr old. Nothing like sick kids and sand everywhere...

Boys & Bees!

Boys and bees...never a good combo. There I was laying on my couch sick as a dog (never did get that expression) when I heard a comotion in the backyard and saw two shadows quickly flutter by the closed curtains only to hear...

"Open the door! Open the door!"

"Close the door! Close the door!"

Yes you guessed it. My husband Mark and of course my older son Mark Jr were trying to dodge a swarm of bees!

See my husband has this "Trashcan composting" thing going on in the back yard and hadn't turned it in about 3 weeks and well It was a matter of time before bees decided to set up camp. What a camp it was! We had BeeCause Inc. come out and remove them this morning. Kelly and her son Justin came prepared to remove the bees. I watched from the safety of my sons room while my 2yr old jumped up and down on the bed declairing "I like bees!"

I'm glad we found someone who knew what they were talking about, and instead of killing the bees they relocate them safely near a wildflower farm. They only charged a donation fee as they are a non-profit organization. Way better for our wallet and for our earth! Bee-sides they were just trying to find a place to make a home and now they'll have a safe one! Thank you Kelly!

The Brownie Bandit

Ahhh, the wonderful smell of a well baked pan of brownies. Ok I admit it's not the best snack but hey...they we're 2 for $2. (Like that makes it ok) Say so long to the waistline!
You know it's bad when you finally take the pan out and start making the cutting lines in your head. Is it that time of month again? why am I craving brownies and why is it taking them so long to cool down? (And no I'm not pregant -mom)Finally! They're cool enough to cut. Two lines lengthwise, 4 lines widthwise. Ok so that makes 12 beautiful brownies. Yes- I was counting them. It was so bad last night I even wrapped them ever so carefully in tin foil a special way so if there was to be a discrepency in how many were left I would know "It wasn't me!" I was right to do so! There's a Brownie Bandit among us. Two of my presious brownies are missing! When you have as many kids as I do it's sort of like having mice in the house. They don't make a sound, leave crumbs everywhere and when caught they look so cute.

Until you realize "They ate my damn brownies!"

Let the interrigation begin!

As I back tracked to the precise second of when I wrapped them in foil I recalled each and every conversation I had had up until tonights dinner. (Amazing how I could remember that since I can't even remember what I ate for lunch) Mark Jr...has been cleared. He exchanged 1 brownie for doing dishes last night. Dad..cleared. (he had heard me hollering about brownies and declared "I haven't even had 1! I didn't know there where any!" ) Next is Brandon...All I have to do with him is point my finger at him and as "Did you eat a brownie without asking?" (eyes piercing his very soul) Because he's 7 he busts out giggling...yup he's telling the truth. If he wasn't he'd be looking at the ceiling rolling his eyes. Isabella didn't get any so she's clear. That leaves one person.....Miss Alicia!

Mom: (looking at her sternly) Did you take the brownies?
Alicia: Um....(hesitantly) Yeeeah?
Mom: You Brownie Bandit!
Alicia: I took some to eat with lunch, but I didn't pack much. (now realizing I now know she basically ate brownies for lunch)
Mom: Alicia!
Alicia: Well I wasn't going to say anything unless you asked!
Mom: Right! You stole my brownies!
Alicia: uhhhh (sheepishly grinning) I'll do the dishes....?

Well at least I don't have to wash dishes, my lovely daughter Alicia has offered to do them in exchange for "Mercy for the Brownie Bandit"

Darnit...now I have to make more!

What Did You Feed Him?

Ok so Brandon has been learning to play baseball for the very first time. He's been doing pretty good until a week ago when his mood just fell like a comet on fire from the sky. What happened between game 4 and 5? Was I too hard on him, not encourageing enough? It's like the old saying, "You can lead ahorse to water, but you can't make him drink." Well Brandon was far from the water hole and was turning himself into glue! You ever been to a baseball game where someone is rattleing the batter with..."Hey batter batter...saa- wing batter!" Brandon was psyching himself out and it was beginning to show. What can I do? Mom's always want thier kids to do well, but you can only do so much, and just how does a 7yr old cope with always striking out? It's tough I tell you.

Brandon was not looking forward to this week. He is ready to quit playing baseball. We have 3 games! Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. I tell you Monday was like trying to roll a dung beetle down a hill of molassas! We even had a tantrum in fustration (hitting the bat on the ground while yelling) Let me tell you he was stressed!

Come Wednesday I wasn't looking forward to trying to cheer him on. It had become a ritual of smiles and "You can do it buddy!"s Except today was going to be different!

Gma Polly came over to babysit the kids while I was keeping score at Mark Jr's track meet that afternoon and I left chicken defrosting and instructions on what to do with it for dinner because I would be picking Brandon up for his night game. To my surprise...Gm Polly had make the most wonderful, flavorful, most aromatic chicken I had ever smelled! Dinner was made when I arrive at 4:50pm that afternoon. All I could think was yum!!

I had already brought dinner from Carl's Jr in my feeble attempt to bribe Brandon in having a good attitude for the game, but Gma's chicken overwhelmed the house and him..he ate the kid's meal and a bowl of Gma's chicken.

That night it was like day into night...Brandon came to play! He was fielding, cheering his team mates on, and swinging (and missing )but he had the best game face on!

Just about all the parents and even the coach commented..."What did you feed that kid? What's gotten into him?" I couldn't answer...I was eating my carefully packed dinner of Gma's magical chicken...and then it hit!

I yelled "Grandma's chicken!"

Coaches recommendation for Saturday's game...

feed him Grandma's Magic Chicken for breakfast!

Glass! Glass! ...

You ever have one of those moments when you think &!@#?

Like when you drop a curling iron and you go to catch it out of instinct and think $@#!# because you thought it burned you, yet it didn't even come close? Or in an instant how you can anticipate how much something is going to hurt like when you swing a hammer and you know in a split second you already missed the nail and it's heading for your thumb?

Or like me tonight, reaching for the top shelf of the refrigerator (picture it...large glass bottle of apple sauce resting half on the top shelf)

As I reach for it, I already know..it's coming down baby! Big glass bottle and me standing in my bare feet.

In my feeble attempt to spare my feet from shards of applesauce and gloppy glass, despite giggles from my children who are sitting like Kings and Queens at my round table - I become the worlds worst jester juggler...

"Glass!" (panic has already set in)

"Glass!"( 2nd attempt to catch not going well...)

"Glass!" (half way down...)

"Holy Crap!" (as it bounces..yes bounces at my feet)

Whew!

One bottle of Ralphs Apple sauce $2.00

Money saved in paper towels $5.00

Watching mommy juggle glass apple sauce bottle while yelling "Glass! Glass! Glass! Holy Crap!"

Priceless